Texts with Artem

My good buddy Artem and I text quite a bit and we end up having some interesting conversations from time to time, to say the least. Earlier today we were talking about which was better; coffee or tea. Artem was rooting strongly for tea, and I was the in the opposite corner defending my dear black friend coffee. I asked Artem to write me up a thesis and present his argument and I must say, he did a mighty fine job and all in under ten minutes. Check it out:

"Tea is a wonderful beverage. It has been scientifically proven to have many health benefits to the human race. Throughout the years, it has been used both for medicinal purposes or simply enjoyed in a recreational setting. It contains no harmful substances, aside from a minute amount of caffeine, and does not cause physiological addiction.

Coffee, on the other hand, is largely responsible for the largest drug addiction in the world. Many caffeine junkies absolutely need their morning jolt and can't function regularly without it. Demand for coffee also fuels harsh labor practices and unfair working conditions for third world countries. Moreover, coffee snobs tend to be pretentious elitists, while connoiseurs of tea tend to be refined and polite individuals. Coffee also tastes like boiled sewage without the addition of cream or sugar."

Well done sir, (slow clap) well done...